Last night I did something that I kept saying I was going to do and just never did. I always had an excuse.
It kills me how quickly the ability to run can leave your body. I am almost ashamed at how little my progress is and how slow I am, but reminded myself running just here and there over the course of a year (like months in between a run) does not count for actually running. I decided to get my oldest in on the joy. I told her my goal in the next two months is to be able to get her to run 3 miles at a time and me 5 miles. She said okay with joy in her eyes.
This made me realize we needed to actually do it. My husband helped me map a run on our little stretch of pavement so we can stay within eyesight of the house (for the sake of the littlest one, and so she can ride her bike). Normally we go another direction that involves an exact mile of dirt road. I love this path, but once you turn the corner, you can no longer see the house. Of course, “A” finished before me, but I still finished without giving up. My pace was actually not bad, but I am trying to remind myself that I am starting over and that the pace doesn’t matter right now.
I Will Get Better.
I know I will. I now have a sidekick, a route, and I have started. I have mentioned how starting over and over gets real old. I think I can find enough drive and motivation to actually keep going now. I was just talking with my husband the other day about how I feel like I have nothing to compete for. He talked about how his wins come through his kids. I understand that feeling and I agree.
To A Point.
I still have this competitive nature inside of me that needs to be let out. I played kickball (and we won the championship thank you very much) and that helped. Then bowling came, but it kinda sucks since it isn’t a league to win, and now it is summer. I feel like I need competition in my life. I guess I just like to have something to strive for. It gives me something to work towards.by