It is not beauty that endears, it’s love that makes us see beauty. (5)

Last Night I Did Something.

Last night I did something that I kept saying I was going to do and just never did. I always had an excuse.

I Ran.

It kills me how quickly the ability to run can leave your body. I am almost ashamed at how little my progress is and how slow I am, but reminded myself running just here and there over the course of a year (like months in between a run) does not count for actually running. I decided to get my oldest in on the joy. I told her my goal in the next two months is to be able to get her to run 3 miles at a time and me 5 miles. She said okay with joy in her eyes.

Well Crap.

This made me realize we needed to actually do it. My husband helped me map a run on our little stretch of pavement so we can stay within eyesight of the house (for the sake of the littlest one, and so she can ride her bike). Normally we go another direction that involves an exact mile of dirt road. I love this path, but once you turn the corner, you can no longer see the house. Of course, “A” finished before me, but I still finished without giving up. My pace was actually not bad, but I am trying to remind myself that I am starting over and that the pace doesn’t matter right now.

I Will Get Better.

I know I will. I now have a sidekick, a route, and I have started. I have mentioned how starting over and over gets real old. I think I can find enough drive and motivation to actually keep going now. I was just talking with my husband the other day about how I feel like I have nothing to compete for. He talked about how his wins come through his kids. I understand that feeling and I agree.

To A Point.

I still have this competitive nature inside of me that needs to be let out. I played kickball (and we won the championship thank you very much) and that helped. Then bowling came, but it kinda sucks since it isn’t a league to win, and now it is summer. I feel like I need competition in my life. I guess I just like to have something to strive for. It gives me something to work towards.

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It is not beauty that endears, it’s love that makes us see beauty. (5)

The Fear That Holds You Back

The fear that holds you back is often times an irrelevant fear that is completely made up in your head. You can do more than you think you can. It all boils down to how bad you really want it, staying consistent, and blocking out all the nonsense that states otherwise. 

We are our own worst enemy.

I know I have probably had 100 ideas, started each of them 27 and a half times just to be right back where I started because I have self-doubt like a mother (but really, I am a mother and this is my lame attempt at being a gangster).

We can do much more than we allow ourselves to do. So why do we self-sabotage things? What is the deal? We encourage people so that they have the ability to take that next step all the time as mothers and spouses and friends. Why is wanting to do something more for ourselves so much harder? Is it the fear of people thinking that you may not know what you are actually doing, even though you know your friend has an amazing talent and could go far?

STOP IT.

Stop it now. You have to start realizing that you are just as good as something as your friend is of their talent. You are capable of doing the things you want to and succeeding. You really are. You have the ability. You just need a little boost of courage – and I don’t mean liquid courage.  I know my blog has sounded like a broken record with the starting over, and taking the first step is the hardest, and blah, blah, blah. I think that now I really believe myself! I just need to now figure out what it is that I am trying to do (That is key right – ha!).

They Say You Will Know.

I am hoping that is really true. I keep writing down ideas as they pop into my head. I know there are a couple things that I want to do and I will get them done as they are pretty normal things. There are a couple things that will take a little more dedication and discipline that I just need to have a “come to Jesus” meeting with myself about. Even in these little things that I want to do, they aren’t what I want to do for like a living or purpose, they are more to get me jumpstarted in that direction like they are on my journey to find out what I really want to be doing. I feel as if taking the long road is usually my style. It may take longer but is a more comfortable route for me. I like comfort, but still feel like I won’t be 100% comfortable.

I Will Get There – Want To Join Me?

No, this isn’t the part where I sell you something. I am serious – do you want to join me on this journey?  There is strength in numbers and sometimes it just takes watching someone else to really get the drive going in yourself. If you want to watch this next journey I take – just follow along. Either sign up for email updates, or check back as I update!

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It is not beauty that endears, it’s love that makes us see beauty. (5)

You Have To Begin Somewhere

You have to begin somewhereNo matter what it is that you are thinking about doing, you have to begin somewhere, take that first step and begin.  Take that first step. For weeks I had been contemplating the idea of blogging again. I really love to write and talk to people through my writing. When it comes to actually writing, I just get really anxious about the process. I can make lists all day long about what to write about, when to post it, where to share it, and all that jazz.

It should just be logical that the next step is to go ahead and write, correct? Yes! However, I just tend to shut off there. I had plenty of friends who I would write topic lists for about blogging ideas. They were then able to take off running with their blogs and make traction. I still sat here with my list in hand and nothing more than that. You have to take that first step, you have to begin somewhere.

I am not afraid so what is my deal?

I am not one who is afraid of what people will say because most of you I probably will never meet and that is okay., and I don’t mind. It won’t be an everyday occurrence that I will run into someone who read my blog. So what is my issue with taking that next step? Who knows. I just know I need to get over whatever it is and take that first step and begin somewhere.

What is something that you have prepared for over a period of time but failed to follow through on?

 

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