It is not beauty that endears, it’s love that makes us see beauty. (5)

Taking It Back

Have you ever had to take it back? I am talking about you life. I seem to lose myself quit often because I feel like I go through this about once every couple years. I am really tired of it too. I think I am going to take back my life and make this time a lasting one. That is my hopes anyways. I don’t think that I have ever really stated that part. When you say it out loud, doesn’t that mean it kind of as to happen?

I like to run – nothing far. I did a half marathon and that is probably about the farthest I really want to go. No real marathon runner in my blood – just the sort of long runs – okay, it is still a really long ways.  I am not interested in really doing it every month either – maybe twice a year. Sounds good, right? I think so.  Anyways, I started on the running topic to tell you that I have not really been running. Not because I don’t want to. Because I really just don’t know how to fit everything in anymore. I mean – how do you?

I used to be able to do it all. I would get up early, clean, cook, get kids ready, myself, work, and so many more things. How did I get so bad at doing it all? I mean it is a struggle to get out of bed. That can be attributed to the severe lack of vitamin D. Then it seems like I am less productive anymore. I don’t get anything but myself ready and kids and out the door. I used to be so accomplished by  5 am. Why does this bug me so much?

It bugs me because I like feeling accomplished. That is the main reason I work. I like to get things done and do them well. I guess with a job you get that satisfaction of a happy customer. A completed project. At home I don’t really get that from anyone, but I feel proud. I want that feeling again. My problem is that There is another addition to the family. There is going to be one less major player in the family in a month or so. Somehow I have to figure out how to keep my sanity in it all. I need to run again. That is where this comes full circle. My story wasn’t completely rambles. Only slightly.

I also have not had the fire to go to church anymore. I am not really sure why either. It isn’t because I have fallen from the Lord. It seems like I just don’t have that fire for my church anymore. I don’t like going to the main service, only the Sunday School. I love that. I just feel like I need more and am missing it. On base there are programs, but they are during the day. I need something at night, or at least with childcare.  I would love it to be close to home too. I thought about finding something on base – but I am not sure that I want that. I do want to go outside of base and meet new people, but I just am not sure where I want to be.  I may try one of the start up churches around here. There is on that meets at the movie theater right outside of the gate. I might just do that this weekend too. I need to do something.

Tonight I took my oldest on a mini date to Target where we got Starbucks (she got a hot chocolate), shared a scone, got her a new necklace and notebook.  It was fun walking around with her just looking for nothing really.  I really need to make one-on-one time a priority like I think I said last night or the night before. Repeating myself – I am getting old, give me a break.

I am going to brainstorm some things and see what I can cut out, and what I can keep to take my life back.  I know I can probably get rid of some things, and that will help with my sanity.  I also would like to clear out some of the physical clutter to help clear my mental clutter. I think they go hand-in-hand without realizing it.  Major cleaning. I hate cleaning, but know it will be better in the long run. Maybe a garage sale so it is quick – or maybe just a garbage bag and a trip tot he goodwill to make sure it really gets gone instead of hanging around waiting for a sale. Maybe I will see what sells in a day and take the rest away after.  Who knows – I just know I need to do it.

What do you need to do to take back your life?

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It is not beauty that endears, it’s love that makes us see beauty. (5)

Southern Sunday

Southern Sunday in the south…..

Anyone know that song? One of my favorites from my childhood. The simple times. School would start, football games, horse shows, and fair. Then basketball games, gymnastics meets, and the start of horse shows all over again.  What I wouldn’t give to do it all over again.  Most of it anyways.

This week is starting something new and exciting. My oldest starts second grade on Wednesday. I can’ t believe it. Second grade. Where did it go?  I am hoping to get to take her out tomorrow night and get her some ice cream and maybe her nails done. I mean why not? I want her to know that I love her and will always be here for her no matter how old she gets. I think it is so important to spend quality time with out kids together.

Then the week after my middle baby starts kindergarten. I will again want to take her and do something special with her. I still can’t believe that my forever baby will be in school.  She is soo excited. I am happy for her excitement, but I worry about her and how she will do.  Abby I feel got such a better heard start with being taught things. I don’t want her to struggle because of it all.

1621808_10152679950869312_1506089502729798260_nToday I took plenty of time to play with my youngest and last baby.  The older two were busy all day with friends (glad that they have neighborhood friends) and the hubby was working on my car to make it awesome as always. I decided that I would get on the floor and play with the baby as much as possible. From just making her giggle, passing a ball back and forth 100 times, and helping her put on shoes that were 10 sizes to big. Even though my laundry got done, nothing else really did. I am okay with that today.  I got to spend quality time with my baby before she gets too big and I am taking her to school.  I don’t like that I feel like I miss part of my kids since I work and they are at daycare. I think it is the struggle of most working moms though.  What are supposed to do?

Some updates! I have not been running like I have wanted to. I am hoping to get back on more of a schedule this week. PiYO is kicking my butt but I love it. You should totally try this one. I am not a fan of the TurboJam or TurboFire programs that are out there – don’t really recommend them cause how can I recommend something I don’t even like? This one is fun and challenging without being impossible and defeating. I recommend it.  You can check them all out here.

My Younique business is taking off and running better than I could ever of imagined!  There are 8 ranks and I am going to hit #4 this month I can feel it. I am going to be “Blue” status and I couldn’t be happier. I have an amazing team of 9 women total and I enjoy encouraging them more than anything in the world! My business itself could tank, but as long as I keep them encouraged I think I would be happy. As long as I keep them going – that is what matters! Have you ever thought about joining  make-up company that has amazing products? Now is a great time as in September the presenter kit is changing and you won’t get as many products as you do in the current one. Why not take a step of faith and believe in yourself? Check it all out here.




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It is not beauty that endears, it’s love that makes us see beauty. (5)

There Are Times

There are times I sit and think :

  •  Am I really in Alaska?
  • Do I really have three little girls?
  • Have I really been married almost 10 years?
  • Can I really be this happy?
  • Is there really another deployment?
  • Did an essential oil really help my headache go away in like 3 minutes?
  • Am I really able to have flexibility with my job like I always wanted?

Then I stop and think, yes – these things are and did happen!  I always used to run around and chase the things that I wanted to do. I would follow what others did because they seemed happy and maybe if I did the things that they did I would be happy too.  Then I would find myself right back in the same not really happy place.  I started trying to do a few more selfish things for myself. Less of things for other people.  I realized I don’t really like being told what to do anymore. I want to do what I want and it work with what I am trying to do.  No huge timelines. No problems if it doesn’t work out.

I find that as I grow older I also find I want to try and do things better for my kids sake. I want them to have less chemicals, and have them do more. Not in a crazy “hippie” sort of way – but in a “doable” way to help them. No define them, or outcast them.  I want to teach them more things. I want them to be able to cook and have responsibility. I just have to figure out how and what to teach them. I want them to have faith. I guess that means I need to find my faith a little bit more.

I guess with another deployment upon us, this is a great time to make some changes that I keep saying I want to make. Why not distract from the sadness with excitement of something new. I deal with things a little differently I guess. Distract to get by. This is my first time with kids and deployments – so get ready for a little vent session here and there 🙂

What types of things do you to help with your faith? What types of things do you want to teach your kids?

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